![]() ![]() You doubt your feelings and reality: You try to convince yourself that the treatment you receive is not that bad or that you are too sensitive.If you think you may be being gaslighted in any of these situations, the quiz below is aimed to help you identify certain behaviours and responses you may be experiencing. We all make the occasional wounding or angry comment sometimes but that is not the same as a designed sequence of comments aimed to manipulate someone. It's important to remember that gaslighting is a pattern of behaviour, not a one-off hurtful or upsetting comment, and the gaslighter knows what they are doing and why. It can occur between friends and family members and it occurs in romantic relationships where it may be a part of a wider pattern of abuse and control, sometimes but not necessarily including violence. It can occur in the workplace between employees and managers as well as between work colleagues. ![]() Gaslighting can occur in many different settings and types of relationships but the themes of manipulation and control remain the same. When she asks him why this is happening, he convinces her that she's imagined the dimming. One of the tactics he uses is to dim the gas lights, making them flicker. The term originates from a play, 'Gas Light' written in the 1930s and later adapted into a film in 1940 in which a husband attempts to drive his wife insane by deceit and trickery in order to steal from her. At its worst, victims of gaslighting can doubt their own sanity. Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse that causes victims to question their reality, judgement and sense of self. If you believe that you are being gaslighted and are in a controlling relationship you may like to contact any of the organisations above who have specialist trained staff who can help you decide what to do next. Another option is to seek some counselling for yourself. It can be a good idea to talk to more than one person: that way you can get a few different perspectives. If you are unsure whether you are being gaslighted then it might be helpful to take a step back from the situation and assess it: do you think that this is what’s happening? It might be useful to talk to family and friends – people who you trust who can give you an objective opinion. Galop : National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse helpline : 08 : Monday – Friday 10am – 5pm. ![]() Men’s Advice Line : 0808 8010327 : Monday – Friday 10am – 8pm The National Domestic Abuse helpline: 08082000247 (open 24 hrs/day, every day) The main ones are (but there are also many local organisations too): There are a number of specialist organisations who will help you to do this, if you need support. The consequence of this over time could significantly damage both your mental wellbeing and your relationship, if the thought of even discussing their behaviour with your partner feels unsafe or fills you with fear, because of how you think they might react, then you should seriously consider ending the relationship swiftly and safely. This kind of interaction can become habitual, if you feel frightened to challenge your partner or let them 'get away with it' in order to have a quiet life. If you feel that the way your partner engages with you is a form of gaslighting, it’s important to do something about it. What should you do if you think you are being gaslighted? Their partner, over time, starts to doubt their own reactions and thoughts. Gaslighting differs from genuine relationship disagreement in that one partner is consistently negating and criticising the other's perception, insisting that they are wrong, or telling them that their emotional reaction is irrational, over the top or that they are imagining things. Gaslighting typically occurs over a period of time and is not on a one-off interaction. ![]() Whilst it usually occurs within a couple relationship, it can occur in any relationship such as friendships, work colleagues or within families. It is a manipulative tactic used to gain power and is part of a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, a form of emotional domestic abuse. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and abuse in which the perpetrator makes his or her partner question and doubt their own perceptions, memory, judgement and sanity. However, there’s a world of difference between these everyday disagreements and gaslighting. In a healthy relationship, there’ll be room for compromise, negotiation and, sometimes, the decision to ‘agree to disagree’. Having opinions or preferences is normal and we all have our own ways of dealing with these. Sometimes, feelings might run high and voices are raised. In any relationship or friendship, there’ll be times when you’ll have a disagreement and, on occasions, you may argue. ![]()
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